Stupidness
by Lord of the Phoenix
Summary: CANCELLED!


Harry Potter wasn't depressed – no no no, yes he was. He was so depressed that even Bella Swan's depression in New Moon couldn't beat out his depression. Yep… he had just turned sixteen years old. Well okay so that might have actually been a few months ago because he's now attending his six year at his magical scool (**sorry 'bout spelling). **Well anyway **(sorry about that awful interruption)**. Err, where was I?

Um… oh yes right. Harry wasn't… oh yeah right he was depressed that's right. I remember now, he was more depressed than Princess Garnet from Final Fantasy IX **(spoiler alert)** when she believed that her monkey man Zadane had died, you know with that whole tree thing at the end with his brother. **(Hang on, am I even supposed to put IX in a story or am I supposed to write the number 9 with words like 'nine'? Ah well, sorry if I got it wrong).**

Well yeah Harry was pretty depressed alright. Just like that… err, well I think you'll understand the picture yeah. My main dude Harry was depressed alright. Heck, he was almost** (but not quite)** as depressed as me a couple years ago when I lost absolute hundreds of thousands of words of stories, plus hole stories **(SP?), **heck I'm still really pissed off about that, though I did recover some the ones I wanted to recover are most likely gone for ever making me wish I have a freaking time machine so if anyone has one let me have a lend yeah and I promise not to use the tech from today to take over yesteryear 'k.

Ahhh… where was I again… oh right Harry's depressed. Well who wouldn't be if they were him huh? One of his best friends is not only a ginger (and a guy… guys just look stupid when they're ginger except maybe that funny bald guy whose sometimes on Mock the Week, but he's bald and only his beard thingies ginger so I guess that don't count).

Umm… yeah well as I was saying his best 'male' friend is ginger, a complete idiot and Harry often wonders whether he can become a saint if he just lets the guys in charge of that sort of thing hang out with the ging for a sort while.

Yeah and that's not all his second best friends always nagging him about something (another reason he deserves to be a saint). Its seriously starting to piss him off 'share your feelings with me Harry; you must not bottle them up'. Yeah right. 'Ok Hermione, bend over pull down ya granny knickers because I'm going to town on your arse!' she may be a young nagging hag but Harry is a guy and see's she could be a fine bit of tail and chokes his chicken at night sometimes thinking of her. Well mainly of her getting it on with some other girls and letting him join in, but he's male he figured that sort of fantasy common amongst them all. Yeah, he figures the girls aren't all that pure in those pretty little heads of there's. **(Um, is that the right there's, their's?) **either.**  
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Hey, I think Hermione's arse took me off track… right Harry's also depressed because all of his life has been manipulated by a fucking gay old man who locked his own boyfriend in jail. Yep both Harry and I have red **(SP?)** Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, so we know this shit yeah so don't mess with what we know cos we're cool.

Well anyway Dumbledore's an arse… and if you think for a moment that the real Harry would name his son not only after a bastard old man who ruined his life but a greasy haired bastard (who had never heard of Head and Shoulders because he was a douche Death Eater who left the muggle world as soon as he was seventeen – well after he ass raped his muggle dad one last time) who led the old man to ruin his life by telling Voldeeeeemmmmmmorrt **(SP?)** the little bit of some shit arse prophesy.

However, all of that shit can be dealt with easily right because in a couple of chapters maybe he'll suddenly gain some cool super magihel **(SP?) **power of some kind… it doesn't matter to explain anyway, he'll be cool yer **(SP?).**

The depressing stuff is … **(DRUM ROLL!)** … he wants to get with his best mates sexy younger sister right. She's a freaking red head right so that means feisty and feisty means rabid animal in the sack, is he correct or what?

Seriously his dick gets stiff just thinking about her, though, he has a problem that he is going to solve in a minute because he can't wait. Anyway, he's been learning loads of secret magic's with loads of made up words and names behind our backs **(we're too lazy to write it in)**. However, he has wondered why every spell ever learnt in wizardry is in our dead language. What about places like India and China? Do they use Latin too?

Ah well, who care right? Well not me… I give no shite. Anyway Harry's all grumpy as he walked into the Great Hall for breakfast and sat down near Ginny (the girl he wants to boink, then marry and hope she's bi so they can both bring girls home to boink lots – you understand me right?). Sitting next to her talking happily was her boyfriend, a douche called Dean 'the douche bag' Thomas.

Then suddenly we hear a swishing noise and blood splatters everyone around Dean except Ginny because of some awesome timing she was leaning back in her seat talking to her blonde Ravenclaw friend Luna Lovegood at the other table. Hmm… doing Ginny up the ass while she licks Luna's butthole sounds like fun… yes indeed a lot of fun Harry believed. Then they could switch places **(the girls not him).**

Well anyway Ginny started in surprise as Dean keeled over into her bowl of Vampires-aren't-that-bad-choco-flakes. Well Harry might have agreed with that **(vampires are just misunderstood – well Hagrid thinks so)** if the cereal name wasn't so long and hyphenated like his pathetic title… whatever.

Ginny just went red with rage as she saw this. "DEAN! You bastard!" she roared with her red headed anger that all red heads have from generations of people with other hair colours picking on them. "We're over you perverted jerk, I won't eat anything you've touched!" she roared as she got up and stormed off out of the hall. Harry grinned widely as he saw this as a super awesome chance to get in her tight little arse and pussy.

However, as Harry chased after the red haired sexilicious **(It's not a real word is it? So I'll spell it how I want too ;P), **other student started screaming as they realised that Dean has a bloodied hole through his forehead and has indeed been murdered, but who in the school would do such a thing.

No one's smart enough to suspect the hero.

In the rafters at the far end of the hall a small figure with wobbly bat-like ears and a long Snape like nose and huge eyes smirked as he packed away his miniature sniper riffle his new master bought him for a present. He was proud and looked dashing in his blue pinstripe suit with shiny black shoes and fedora **(spelling, or could be completely wrong word) **hat with a black feather attached to the right hand side **(you know like from the MASK, and blue not yellow 'k).**

"Nobody takes the Great Harry Potter sirs sexilicious away from him… Dobby will make sure of that," he muttered barely audible under his breath as he finished packing his present away in its case with a satisfied nod he disappeared in a poof of steamy stuff **(it might be mist).**

_**To Be Continued… **_

_**Possibly… **_

_**Hmm… **_

_**Maybe…**_

_**It could be I suppose…**_


End file.
